I Am Crazy.
One month ago today, my best friend kneeled down on a rock at Loch Lomond and finished singing "For the Dancing and the Dreaming" as he pulled a ring out of his pocket. One month ago today, my best friend asked me if I would marry him. One month ago today, I cried and nodded and put that ring on my finger. One month ago today, I decided to spend the rest of my life loving Gabriel Sandifer as a friend, a partner, and (soon) a wife.
Admittedly I didn't give the decision too much thought when it happened. And in the days that followed the proposal, in the midst of celebrating being engaged and being in the United Kingdom (which is a post for a different day), I suddenly began questioning, "Am I crazy?"
I mean, in all honesty, I am only 19. Gabe just turned 20 in January. The average age to get engaged is 27 now, according the Huffington Post. (Wait... did I just do research?) And we're both still in school. Sure, we've both had at least semi-serious relationships in the past. That is, if you count high school relationships. But we've only been dating a little over a year and a half now. In fact, we've only known each other for a little over a year and a half! I have pairs of shoes that I've had a longer relationship with!
But then I realized that I am crazy.
I am crazy in love with Gabe.
He makes me crazy happy just by being in the same room.
He makes me dream crazy things about our future together that get me excited for life.
And the only thing that matters to me now is that we are crazy together.
To abridge Forrest Gump's famous line: "I know what love is." I've tried to explain what it feels like to be so in love and in tune with someone to some of my friends. I can't ever put it into words, but I think that phrase, "I know what love is," kind of just sums it up. There's no way to say how I love Gabe or list the infinite reasons I do. Objectively, he's similar to a lot of friends I have. But those friends aren't him. I just love him.
I'm lucky enough to have fallen in love with someone who became my best friend. And in return to fate having given me that gift, I promise to love that gift through strong winds and savage seas.
I don't really know why I felt the need to write a blog post about this. Maybe it's just my way of letting everyone know that I know that it's kind of crazy to be engaged at 19. Or perhaps I just am still in that state of shock and excitement where you have to bring every conversation back to that exciting thing or else you'll explode.
All I know is that I wrote it, and I'm so happy to be marrying my best friend.